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uke-mode-seme-mode:

DO YOU EVER SEE THIS PERSON ONLINE YOU REALLY WANNA TALK TO BUT YOU ARE TOO SHY TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE YOU ARENT ON THEIR LEVEL AND JUS T

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dietcrush:

my friend’s dog was sick and couldn’t get up so they were gonna put him down and as his final supper they got him a big mac and when the dog smelled it he shot up and ate it in one bite and lived for three more years

darkminho:

checking your phone in the middle of the night

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Baby:  p-p-p-p
Dad:  papa?
Baby:  Pete Wentz
Dad:  oh god it's an emo

floozys:

i’m bi but not bi like i’ll have a threesome with you and your girlfriend i’m bi like i’ll steal your girl and fuck your brother 

kawaiianimejesus:

captain-boomerang:

captain-boomerang:

check out this periodic table

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I have made a lot of bad jokes but this is still probably my greatest hit

omfg

tennants-hair:

do you ever realize that your followers aren’t just a number

they’re real people with jobs and pets and possibly an annoying neighbor

like

you have real people who like you

wow